I am Faten Abu-Ruman, from Balqa Governorate. I studied agricultural engineering, and graduated 15 years ago. However, I didn’t get an opportunity to work in my specialization. This motivated me to focus on volunteering and social work. I discovered the beauty of volunteering work and the importance of serving others. And most importantly, I felt the value of drawing a smile on women and children’s faces. I volunteered in several projects that focus on Syrian refugees, children and youth. I also established a large social base, and made friends from all areas across Jordan. I have worked as coordinator for several projects and social initiatives at Musa Al-Saket Development Centre. The experience made me believe in the importance of social organizing and that change starts with one step.

As the mother of four children, the issue of bullying and school violence was and still is a source of worry for me; as well as that of many other parents. We hear a lot of stories about problems related to violence and bullying, and this preoccupied me.

Sometimes, I feel there is a lack of communication between parents and teachers; especially in boys’ schools. This limits collaboration and parents are not always informed of the bullying of their children. In addition, many of them refuse that their mothers attend parents-teachers meetings, as they consider them degrading.

I always wonder about the role of the Parents’ Council, and why it is not taking any action to prevent bullying. This is why I decided to launch a community campaign to activate the role of the Parents’ Council.

 

My colleague, Heba Elwazny, and I presented the idea of activating the parents’ council to women in our community. We also held meetings and home visits to parents in the area to hear their opinions. We found out that the issue of violence and bullying at school bothers them the most; especially that its rate is increasing and that it sometimes leads to suicide.

 

The phenomena of bullying at schools affects many adolescents; and is mostly related to the issue of gender and the concept of masculinity and femininity. The gender identity, especially of boys, is demonstrated in their behaviors through an emphasize of their “manhood” by manifestations of control and violence. The support we received by parents made us move forward in our ‘dialogue is our success’ initiative, implemented with support of ANHRE and Hivos.

 

Furthermore, we communicated with many school principals to get their support for the idea. At first, we were faced with some resistance – especially in boys’ schools – but at the end, we convinced them to collaborate with us. We proceeded with the procedures and sent formal letters to the educational authorities to get their written approval to implement the initiative. We also communicated with the head of the educational authority in Balqa, and with the coordinator of the council of educational development and the head of the coaching department. We received the needed approvals and support, and at the same time formed a coordination committee to facilitate dialogue with parents and students. Additionally, we developed training materials from the major problems highlighted throughout these meetings, to emphasize the importance of dialogue as an alternative to punishment to solve problems and deal with the issues of the students. Furthermore, the training materials emphasize the importance of developing initiatives and implementing activities to release students’ energy. As well, we focused on integrating all parties concerned with education (parents, principles, supervisors, teachers, community leaders, head of educational development council, etc.) in the dialogue in order to exchange opinions between children and their parents on one side, and between teachers and students on the other side.

 

Our initiative was successful; and as a result, the Ministry of Education in Salt highlighted it on its social media page. Furthermore, the Ministry collaborated with the NGO to implement another initiative, based on the good reputation it has made during the implementation of the first one. We managed to create a direct contact between the parents and the school; and the parents came to feel part of the system. Moreover, the trust between parents and teachers was deepened. Besides, a coach was designated to schools that don’t have one, and his/her duties included raising awareness and coaching on violence in order to decrease it between students. Likewise, his/her duties were to promote prevention and therapeutic procedures to address students’ problems, while maintaining a close cooperation between students, parents and teachers.

 

This experience is very important for me. I always avoided obstacles that faced me in my life and I rarely expressed my disagreements with my colleagues, parents or even my children. But this initiative and the methodology of work that we followed, which integrated all parties and their opinions, made me realize that I was torturing myself. This made me wonder what are the reasons that hinder my ability to stand up for myself.  As a result, I have decided to make a change in my life, and everyone around me has noticed it. My self-confidence has increased, and I have more belief in my ability to defend myself and my convictions, even others are against them.